Lifespan Religious Education
"Allison is gifted at working with all ages of children and youth, and did so in our program, which included nursery infants through high schoolers. She is a clear and effective communicator with parents, teachers, committee members and co-workers. Whether telling the Story for All Ages during a service, working one on one with a child, or interacting with adults, Allison showed humor, intelligence, judgment, and above all integrity" - Laurel Whitehouse, former Director of Religious Education, The First Church in Belmont, UU
For
three years, I was blessed to spend my Sunday evenings working with a UU youth
group in Massachusetts as the paid Youth Assistant. They were an amazing group
of youth. At times on those Sunday evenings I saw in them the beloved community
realized. There was a deep sense among these youth that everyone was welcome
there, that everyone was accepted, that everyone was worthy, and that it was
one of the few places where they could truly be themselves without fear of
repercussion. After running around the church playing “Murder in the Dark,” or
giggling their way through the innuendos of “What’s Yours Like?” they would
gather in body and spirit for the weekly ritual of lighting candles of joy and
concern. Sitting there in the quiet dark, there was a depth of sharing and
caring that I have rarely seen elsewhere. There was a sense of love and
acceptance that was palpable in the room as each youth crawled forward to light
a flame and speak their truth. The love of the gathered community, the love of
the spirit flowed around them as they took their seats back in the circle.
These youth looked forward to the two hours a week when they could gather in
this circle, let down their guard, and know that they are loved.
The community created on these Sunday evenings is an example of one of the most important gifts our congregations can give to children and youth: experience of being loved and accepted just as they are. This initial experience of love and acceptance gives our children a foundation upon which to build a life of service and justice. I saw this happen for some of the youth when we went on a Learning-Service Trip to Arizona back in 2011. When we got back from the trip, the group did a panel presentation about immigration for the congregation. I hadn’t realized quite how much they had taken in on that trip until they started to speak. In their words about the people we had met and their own thoughts about what we should do about immigration, I heard the same depth of caring as I had experienced so many times in their candles ritual. Beginning with their own experiences of love, these youth had widened their circle of caring and begun to imagine how we might create a more just world.
My philosophy of religious education centers on offering children, youth and adults these primary experiences of love, acceptance and justice in the context of a multigenerational community. In our busy modern world, church is one of the few public places where many generations come together in community. People of all ages ought to be able to find a home in our congregations and feel that they are a valued part of the community. Children and youth should be taken seriously—both their questions and their ideas. We adults often have as much to learn from our children and youth as they have to learn from us.
In an ideal UU religious education program, children, youth and adults would all be encouraged to explore, question and engage with the beliefs, values and stories of Unitarian Universalism in age-appropriate contexts. It is important to have those youth group meetings with only youth and trusted adults in the room. It is important to have story-centered, experiential learning for our youngest children. And it is important to have religious education classes that offer space for adults to engage with our faith as well.
In addition to age appropriate separate spaces, our congregations should also offer spaces and times when all the generations come together. Angus MacLean is famous for writing that the method is the message. If we keep the generations separated at all times, our children and youth will learn from experience that they are not welcome in adult spaces, no matter how much we might assert in words that they are. I have seen this incongruence of method and message most often in the way that children and youth are made to feel excluded from “adult” worship. It is difficult for our children to believe that we value their presence when they are excluded from the most important thing we do as a religious community. It is also difficult for them to get beyond just learning about religion and actually become religious people. The weekly candles of joys and concerns at youth group were certainly a way that the youth were practicing being religious, often in a way that felt deeper and more meaningful than typical Sunday morning services. However, those fifteen minutes of lighting candles allowed the youth to create their own separate church experience and so they rarely came to morning services. Emphasizing only the differences in the ways that children, youth and adults worshipped put up barriers to creating a truly multigenerational community.
Our Unitarian Universalist religious education programs ought to seek balance. There ought to be balance between separate age-appropriate learning, worship and fellowship and communal, multigenerational learning, worship and fellowship. There ought to be balance between recognizing that giving kids the space to be kids and taking them seriously enough to include them as full participants in worship and other events. There also ought to be a balance between recognizing the differing needs of children and adults, and recognizing the ways in which we are more similar than we might think. We all need that sense of belonging, acceptance, affection, mutuality, approval, and interdependence. We all need a place where we can let down our guard and know we are loved. We also all need a place where the love is so strong and so palpable that it pushes us to expand our circle of caring and work for justice. These needs are lifelong—none of this ends when we become adults. When we seek to build strong, multigenerational communities in our congregations, we need to keep all of this in mind, giving our children, youth and adults a space to keep exploring, learning and growing together.
The community created on these Sunday evenings is an example of one of the most important gifts our congregations can give to children and youth: experience of being loved and accepted just as they are. This initial experience of love and acceptance gives our children a foundation upon which to build a life of service and justice. I saw this happen for some of the youth when we went on a Learning-Service Trip to Arizona back in 2011. When we got back from the trip, the group did a panel presentation about immigration for the congregation. I hadn’t realized quite how much they had taken in on that trip until they started to speak. In their words about the people we had met and their own thoughts about what we should do about immigration, I heard the same depth of caring as I had experienced so many times in their candles ritual. Beginning with their own experiences of love, these youth had widened their circle of caring and begun to imagine how we might create a more just world.
My philosophy of religious education centers on offering children, youth and adults these primary experiences of love, acceptance and justice in the context of a multigenerational community. In our busy modern world, church is one of the few public places where many generations come together in community. People of all ages ought to be able to find a home in our congregations and feel that they are a valued part of the community. Children and youth should be taken seriously—both their questions and their ideas. We adults often have as much to learn from our children and youth as they have to learn from us.
In an ideal UU religious education program, children, youth and adults would all be encouraged to explore, question and engage with the beliefs, values and stories of Unitarian Universalism in age-appropriate contexts. It is important to have those youth group meetings with only youth and trusted adults in the room. It is important to have story-centered, experiential learning for our youngest children. And it is important to have religious education classes that offer space for adults to engage with our faith as well.
In addition to age appropriate separate spaces, our congregations should also offer spaces and times when all the generations come together. Angus MacLean is famous for writing that the method is the message. If we keep the generations separated at all times, our children and youth will learn from experience that they are not welcome in adult spaces, no matter how much we might assert in words that they are. I have seen this incongruence of method and message most often in the way that children and youth are made to feel excluded from “adult” worship. It is difficult for our children to believe that we value their presence when they are excluded from the most important thing we do as a religious community. It is also difficult for them to get beyond just learning about religion and actually become religious people. The weekly candles of joys and concerns at youth group were certainly a way that the youth were practicing being religious, often in a way that felt deeper and more meaningful than typical Sunday morning services. However, those fifteen minutes of lighting candles allowed the youth to create their own separate church experience and so they rarely came to morning services. Emphasizing only the differences in the ways that children, youth and adults worshipped put up barriers to creating a truly multigenerational community.
Our Unitarian Universalist religious education programs ought to seek balance. There ought to be balance between separate age-appropriate learning, worship and fellowship and communal, multigenerational learning, worship and fellowship. There ought to be balance between recognizing that giving kids the space to be kids and taking them seriously enough to include them as full participants in worship and other events. There also ought to be a balance between recognizing the differing needs of children and adults, and recognizing the ways in which we are more similar than we might think. We all need that sense of belonging, acceptance, affection, mutuality, approval, and interdependence. We all need a place where we can let down our guard and know we are loved. We also all need a place where the love is so strong and so palpable that it pushes us to expand our circle of caring and work for justice. These needs are lifelong—none of this ends when we become adults. When we seek to build strong, multigenerational communities in our congregations, we need to keep all of this in mind, giving our children, youth and adults a space to keep exploring, learning and growing together.
Story for All Ages: John Murray
Delivered at The First Church in Belmont - November 2011
Small Group Ministry Session Plan
Developed for The First Church in Belmont - February 2012
Small Group Ministry Session Plan
Developed for The First Church in Belmont - March 2012
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